In the last Republican debate I heard Rick…

In the last Republican debate, I heard Rick Santorum say that seven justices in the Iowa Supreme Court “forced gay marriage on the people of Iowa.”

I was not previously aware of this, and at first, I thought, wait, this is not right. The government should not have the power to force you to marry someone of your same gender… even in Iowa. I wanted to ask those seven justices, what if an Iowan man and woman truly love each other and want to make a lifetime commitment? Isn’t it unfair that they cannot get married? What happens to existing man-woman marriages- are they all instantly annulled? And what if someone prefers to stay single and not get married at all? Will that be legal?

Then I thought further, and realized, well, maybe it’s for the best. Think about marrying a good friend and having them as a lifetime roommate. That wouldn’t be too bad. Guys would probably never have to sneak out of the house to play poker, and they could buy motorcycles and grow mustaches at will. Women would always have someone who would listen when they felt like talking about their feelings, and would probably have a companion even during football season.

(Now I think will understand better the next time a politician says he has a “mandate”.)

And Rick didn’t say anything about government forcing you to have sex with your spouse, so I would assume many couples could date outside their marriage, just like politicians do. Straight people in same-sex marriages could just have “sleepovers”, and, hey, maybe it would be more exciting for them.

And I would think rates of divorce would be far lower as well. Divorces are a big interference in people’s lives and adversely impact productivity as well as society in general.

So, I’m all for it, I’m moving to Iowa, and guys- I’m not taken yet, so who wants to go on a man-date?


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